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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Thursday, June 01, 2006
VOL. V Issue 6A
Yes,We Have No Picture
All of us here at the Holabird Advocate like to start out each month with the latest installment of The Ditty Bops Calendar. Today, however, we were prevented in bringing June's picture to you, the Readers. This is because the scanner at the home office is not working properly.
This month's installment is a tasteful arrangement of the Ladies as mermaids swimming in the ocean with an open treasure chest and a bicycle nearby. We hope to get the picture on before July, but at this point, we don't know how we can do that.
E.E. Hinkle Shows Slight Improvement
While he hasn't got enough strength in his legs to stand, E.E. Hinkle has managed to use the toilet. Here lately he has been using his grandson, Jerry Hinkle, to do his legwork. Jerry has even changed enough diapers in the last day that his hands have taken on that "old people smell" that Harold Hinkle talks about. Jerry washes his hands more often as well.
Mary Hinkle was out of commission with a 24 hour virus. This was a blessing in disguise, although she may not have thought so at the time. With Mary sidelined, it was up to Jerry to do everything. He has to admit that he doesn't know how she did it all by herself. He has resolved to help her out more often when possible.
The prophets of doom and gloom have already made funeral arrangements and practically dug the hole for him. This leaves us to wonder what the hurry is.
Hinkle University? Say It's Not So!
There are many institutions of higher (and lower) learning out there. From South Dakota War College to The University of Pukwana, known as good old PUK-U. Is there room for another such school? That depends on the market place. Before they sell degrees, they will sell clothing. Check this out: http://www.alumnioriginals.com/item.php and be sure to ask for Hinkle University! Their Motto: Make sure you know where you are going, or you just might end up somewhere else.
Reality Bytes
by Jerry Hinkle
Holabird Advocate
Well, it's almost Summer time. The Summer reality shows will be busting out all over. Big Brother on CBS will be back. I'd rather change diapers than watch that crap. CBS also has Rock Star. This time instead of INXS, the winner will be the lead singer of Tommy Lee's new band. I forgot the name of this new band, but I'm sure it's not Motley Crue!
One show that I will set the DVR for is "Gameshow Marathon". In spite of the very irritating Ricki Lake, it's a pretty entertaining show. If you thought regular people were stupid, wait until you see "celebrities" vie for cash and prizes. Bob Barker sure doesn't have to worry about his job security, and Monte Hall's legend is not dead yet either. Every time Ms. Lake explains the rules of the game, I wonder if anyone has explained them to her. Now, ordinarily, I wouldn't lump a game show with the reality genre, but this show sure looks scripted. During the big wheel spin on The Price Is Right, Ricki Lake seemed to know ahead of time that two players were going to tie. That confused act she puts on may be just that, a put on!
Oh well, there's always a good book to read!

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