Holabird AdvocateProviding all the news we see fit to print since 2002!
Monday, May 15, 2006
VOL. V Issue 5G
Ms. Amanda Starts Training for the Big Bike Tour
Forget the Atkins Diet!It's Sweet Corn and Candy that gets The Ditty Bops Going on their bicycles. On May 25, they will start out on their cross country bicycle tour. They will embark on the first ride of their 3 month, 4,000 mile journey. Abby Dewald and Amanda Barrett are riding their bikes from Los Angeles to New York to promote their new record, "Moon Over The Freeway". The best part is, you are all invited to come and ride, listen to the music, and have a great time. Check out thedittybops.com for up-to-date information on our route and see how you can join them in this adventure.
Here's a list of the cities they will pass through. We encourage everyone to contact The Ditty Bops booking agent (firstname.lastname@example.org) if you have any information about unconventional venues such as bike stores, music stores, house concert series, farms, etc...
CALIFORNIA: LA, Santa Barbara, Monterey, Santa Cruz, San Francisco, Sacramento.
NEVADA: Nevada City, Tahoe, Reno, Fallon.
UTAH: Salt Lake City.
COLORADO: Steam Boat Springs, Fort Collins, Denver, Frisco, Boulder.
KANSAS: Oberlin, Lucas, Lawrence.
MISSOURI: Kansas City, Boonville, Columbia, St. Louis.
ILLINOIS: Springfield, Bloomington, Chicago.
WISCONSIN: Madison, Milwaukee.
MICHIGAN: Walhalla, Grand Rapids, Kalamazoo, Ann Arbor
PENNSYLVANIA: Pittsburg, Philadelphia
NEW YORK: New York City
After NY they will fly to:
and ride to
Why isn't Pukwana, South Dakota on the list? Oh well, hope to see you on the road, Ladies!
Greenhouse Brings in the Green
Kristi's Greenhouse had one of their best openings ever this past weekend. The exact dollar amount will not be reported, because our Publisher can keep a secret. The customers, for the most part, have been very happy with the new location. Some even said that it has made the greenhouse look bigger. There is also more parking space. The only voice of dissent was from a lady who was worried that one of the existing buildings on the lot, an old one room schoolhouse, might be destroyed. She and all others worried about that can be assured that there are no such plans to do so at this time.
E.E. Hinkle's Secret Gets Out
One thing is for sure. E.E. Hinkle would never make it in the CIA. He can't even keep his own secret. Yesterday, E.E. called his oldest daughter, Mavis Kennedy, and told her to come over in a day or two, but not to tell anybody she was coming. He then spent the rest of the day telling all who would listen that Mavis was coming over "Any time now",
Exactly when Mavis does decide to visit has not been officially reported. E.E. Has been eating up a storm too. Obviously, he is training his stomach for the amount of food Mavis prepares during one of her visits.
Harold Hinkle took the old boy out for a drive to where Darrel Hinkle is planting corn. He seemed wide awake and with it during most of the time.
The Aliens Have Landed!
by Jerry Hinkle
Holabird Advocate Publisher
This Illegal Immigration story is starting to wear pretty thin for me. I'm not even really sure just how much of a problem this is. I can sympathize with W in the respect that as a nation we have to figure out some middle ground here. Finding it seems to be the hardest part.
W addressed the nation tonight, which forced Keloland to delay the season finale of "How I Met Your Mother" by 20 minutes. (BOO!) The thing that really upsets me is that he didn't say anything new. He gave me a chuckle when he said that hiring an illegal alien was a crime (DUH! Ya think?), and yet there are some folks in this country that are probably dumb enough not to know that.
Some say these aliens take American jobs away. Maybe so, but I sure wouldn't have minded having a nice, hard working Hispanic boy (or girl, I won't discriminate) who could have mowed the lawn for me this weekend so I could have watched Larry the Cable Guy go into his routine about under britches.
There's also the problem of immigrant scum who come here to this country in order to take advantage of our welfare system. Now, believe it or not, I got a solution to this one. If it's a government check they want, let's ship them off to a totally worthless state. A place so terrible that they would actually have to pay people to live there. Yes, Alaska, ladies and gentleman, Alaska is the place for people of that ilk. They just may get a second congressional district up there yet. Who knows, but that we could even get some of them a job pumping oil out of that caribou reserve.
South Dakota doesn't have much of an immigrant problem. Their biggest problem is people leaving the state in search of a better paying job. Well, perhaps they could go to India to become a telemarketer.
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