Everyone here at the Holabird Advocate was shocked to hear of the death of "Tonight Show" host Johnny Carson over the weekend. His easy going manner and Midwest charm will be missed as it has since he retired in 1992. It should be remembered that Carson was able to get a laugh from his audiences without having to utter the word "Viagra". That alone has earned our respect. His self deprecating, topical humor won the hearts and minds of everyone. Whenever a joke would bomb he'd stand quiet and motionless, and still get the laugh. It was his show that led to placing televisions in the bedroom. Johnny Carson, dead at 79.

Agnes Hahn has received the obituary for her nephew, Glen "Mitch" Mitchell. Glenn died earlier his month, and was cremated. His ashes will be buried in the Miller cemetery sometime this Summer. Agnes was to submit the obituary to the Highmore Herald Newspaper, but was afraid that it was too long. If this is the case, the Holabird Advocate will publish the obituary, because nothing is too big for us to print.

The Holabird Church of Universal Life is considering a desperate act to help save Holabird's neighbor to the east from sinking into moral turpitude. Highmore, South Dakota may become a cesspool of perversion unless something is done to prevent nude dancing from happening in the former location of Ray's Bar. According to some stories going around that is precisely what may happen in the very near future.

Reverend Jerry Hinkle is looking for a way that would make it possible for the Holabird Church of Universal Life to purchase the aforementioned establishment to prevent something as vile as nude dancing from happening. Of course, Video Lottery will have to stay as a way to maintain the operation. He is thinking of calling it "the BYOB Bar". If people want to drink, the would have to bring it with them. If this is successful, perhaps other bars in the area could be purchased and expand their scope of activities. Maybe even good, clean arcade games for the youth.

The difficult part of the plan is the purchase price. The owners are asking something in the neighborhood of $140,000 for the place. The church's treasury only has all of $4.93. Quite an undertaking, but they only have $139,995.08 more to go.