 |
 Holabird AdvocateProviding all the news we see fit to print since 2002!Monday, November 10, 2003 VOL. II Issue 11E SMELL OF SMOKE ALLEDGED AT PONDEROSA Sunday night, around 9pm, Harold Hinkle swore he smelled smoke outside. He called on his son, Jerry Hinkle to help him investigate. Jerry dismissed it as either volcanic ash or possibly from a forrest fire in the Black Hills. At any rate, the full moon bright in the sky and the the fog on the ground thick enough in the distance that flames if there were any, went unseen. Long story short the Ponderos did not exactly burn up last night. JUSTIN HINKLE ENTERS TERRIBLE TWOS When he was first born, Justin Hinkle had a hard time getting started. Two years later, it's hard to believe that he ever had trouble to begin with. The birthday party at his home has a "Blues Clues" theme. Plenty of gifts were recieved, mostly toys. E.E. Hinkle come up with the ides of giving his great-grandson a $2 bill. The 101 year old E.E. did go to the party and put in a late night, staying up until way past 9 o'clock. Jerry Hinkle shocked several of the guests at his nephew's party by stating that he thought that "that 58 lb. anorexic chic on Entertainment Tonight" was hot. However, when pressed, he could not remember her name. We at the Holabird Advocate think he's pulling our collective leg. LEGAL NOTICE: JERRY HINKLE'S LIVING WILL by Morley Krupt, Attorney at Law of Ural, Krupt, Sumi, and Dye Because of the contraversy surrounding the woman in Florida that is in a vegatative state, Jerry Hinkle has decided to make a living will and publish it in the Holabird Advocate for all to read so there is no doubt about his wishes concerning the end of his life when he sheds his mortal coil and gets ready for the old dirt nap. This is a very unconventional move, I'm not sure it's legally binding. Those who know Mr. Hinkle can testify that he is very unconventional, and doesn't stand on ceremony. His living will reads as follows: I, Jerald E. Hinkle, being of sound mind, or as sound as I can get at this stage of life, and having no ill health at this time, wish that should I, for any reason be unable to answer for myself, be hooked up to a feeding tube only if said food is some kind of beef product. As far as respairators go, hook me up to one, two, or three if you have to, just make sure that beef feeding tube is hooked up. As far as extraordinary measures to revive me go, try them all, every known measure, even experimental methods, but don't forget the beef feeding tube. you can even try to get that anorexic chic from Entertainment Tonight to give me mouth to mouth, but don't forget the beef feeding tube. I make these statements of my own free will and under no duress. Dated this tenth day of November in the year of my Lord two thousand and three. PUBLISHERS NOTES by Jerry Hinkle Because of the Veterans Day Holiday the Home Office will be closed after 11am. Those who wish to do so can read the November, 2002 archive for our Veteran's day edition.
Comments:
Post a Comment
|
 |