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 Holabird AdvocateProviding all the news we see fit to print since 2002!Monday, October 06, 2003 VOL. II Issue 10C HOLABIRD POPULATION INCREASES BY 1 Mike and Karla Aasby are the proud new parents of a baby boy as of 4am this morning. The child's name is Grady Michael Aasby and his vitals are unknown at this time. All of us at the Holabird Advocate want to welcome Baby Grady Aasby to Holabird, and to the world. CAROL ZILVERBERG IN RECOVERY It has been reported that Carol Zilverberg has come through surgery alright and will be staying with her daughter Julia Silbers for the duration of an expected 6 weeks. Those wishing to send cardsor other well wishes may contact the home office of the Holabird Advocate for the address. E.E. HINKLE MAKING SLOW PROGRESS Since catching pneumonia a while back, 101 year old E.E. Hinkle has taken his own sweet time to recover. he has made some progress, however. He has a bit more energy than before. He has been walking on his treadmill, and he has a pretty good appetite. Today, he even did his own dinner dishes. It took him a while, but they were clean. PETA PREVENTED FROM POSTIONG ANTI-RODEO BILLBOARDS By Baxter Black Big news in Helena during rodeo week. The animal rights group PETA was prevented from putting anti-rodeo billboards up in the city. It turns out the owner of the billboard company thought the poster was too risque. Actually, I thought part of the poster was funny. It had a seductive model laying on a bed of straw with the caption: "Nobody likes an eight second ride." Cute, huh! But, PETA had also added a crude play on words that justifies its rejection. PETA is known for its vulgarity and insensitive ads, activities and pronouncements such as comparing slaughtered chickens to the Holocaust, butchering hogs to Jeffrey Dahmer, the child killer cannibal, and stating it would be a good thing if American animals contracted foot-and-mouth disease. Some of their ad campaigns also bordered on sort of a loopy cleverness with promotions such as "Drink beer, not milk" and "Jesus was a vegetarian." But they don't quite know when to stop. They are still recovering from their 9-11 brush with bioterrorism. Yet they continue to sink into crassness and invectives like the Holocaust versus chickens campaign - that is bound to be driving off donors. So the anti-rodeo ad seemed a surprise to me. 'Eight seconds,' for the rodeo illiterate, is the length of time required for a qualified ride on a bronc or a bull. Cowboys and cowgirls have told that same joke in one form or another since rodeo began. Same for the belt buckle jokes and Copenhagen can jokes. The jokes are the verbal jousts of armchair cowboys, dudes and, of course, girls. It is a way for the less adventurous to tease or irritate macho men. It's harmless. Because, of course, there are lots of folks who do like an eight second ride. In my old bull riding days, more than once I'd have been thrilled to make one. You could put me or Blue Stone or Jesse Bails on that billboard reading "Who says nobody likes an 8 second ride?" We could start a whole new billboard campaign: A picture of a coyote stating, "Who says nobody likes lamb?" or a mountain lion, "Who says nobody likes calf liver?" or a bass, "Who says nobody likes sushi?" or a bull snake, "Who says nobody likes raw eggs?" or a house cat, "Who says nobody likes the Sahara?" or a buzzard, "Who says nobody likes leftovers?" or a baby robin, "Who says nobody likes regurgitated worms?" Not a bad idea. However, remembering back on my daughter's 4-H project, the perfect billboard spokesman could be a rabbit. I think, in his case, eight seconds was about right.
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