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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Wednesday, February 19, 2003
VOL. II Issue 2I
In a last minute change of heart last night, doctors decided not to have a pacemaker installed in Agnes Hahn. The problem with Agnes's heart, they feel, can be medicated. Her situation is being monitored. She is still stable, and medically she is in the very best of hands.
It got kind of crowded in Agnes's hospital room so Harold and Mary motored home Wednesday night.
by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate
The last couple of days have been quite difficult for me. Not just because of my Grandma's situation, but other things too. After consulting with my spiritual advisor, Pastor Potluck, I was advised to confess and repent, and so I shall, right here and right now.
Ladies and gentlemen of the Holabird Advocate Readership, I have sinned!!! America! I have sinned against you !!! Yes! America! Land that I love!! I have been unfaithful to you!!! I have publicly condemned the country of Canada, our neighbor to the north. I have Publicly condemned all things Canadian. Privately, however, I have been enjoying certain Canadian things. I have watched the "Red Green Show" on a regular basis. I have been using a Canadian made after shave called "Amigo" for the past two years now. Last, but certainly not least, I have also eaten a Canadian Bacon pizza.
Pastor Potluck has also advised me that I must not be so hostile to all things Canadian. He says that this hatred is going to get me in the end. I shall endevor to beat this with your help and God's. Dear Readers, I ask you to pray for me that I may indeed do this.
Pastor Potluck has also suggested I give up my hostility toward Oprah, but that ain't gonna happen.

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