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 Holabird AdvocateProviding all the news we see fit to print since 2002!Monday, January 20, 2003 VOL. II Issue 1J KATHERINE ZILVERBERG CELEBRATES 80 Several freinds, neighbors, and family members were on hand at the Highmore Healthcare Center to observe Katherine Zilverberg's 80th birthday. All in attendance said that she looked mighty good. Among those wishing her well was 100 year old E.E. Hinkle. one of the residents at the nursing home mistook him for Clarence Busse, who was born 17 years after E.E. so he must look good as well. ON THE ROAD AGAIN by Hiram Gonagan Agnes Hahn Arrived safely in Kauai There was a welcoming party at the Bali Hai Resort with music and free mai tais for Phyllis, Larry, and her. The next morning they had a continental breakfast (with no mai tais) and signed up for a luau The misty weather did not stop them from touring light houses or taking in a farmers market. They darn near had their own luau as they were able to get fresh fruit, coconuts and ear corn. they went to a store to get broasted chicken and were able to make their own lunch at the resort. TOP TEN WAYS TO COVER THE SOUTH DAKOTA BUDGET SHORTFALL by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the Holabird Advocate The South Dakota state budget has a $54 million defficit. Govenor Rounds has prososed a huge increase in tobacco and alcohol taxes. I don't think that all of that is neccessary. I have worked day and night for a solution, sacrificing to it. I think that I may have come up with something here. Now, some of these idea's may be unorthodox, some may even be impractical, but collectively I believe that they could work. SO, FROM THE HOME OFFICE IN HOLABIRD SOUTH DAKOTA HERE ARE THE TOP 10 WAYS TO COVER THE SOUTH DAKOTA STATE BUDGET SHORTFALL: 1. Put on an income tax (that's right South Dakota's citizens and workers pay no state income tax) 2. Pay-per-view wrestling, Bill Janklow vs. Jesse Ventura 3. Have State Treasurer Vern Larson's wife start a kissing booth (yeah baby, YEAH) 4. Since nobody wants a tax on food, double the tax on tofu and Hostess Twinkees 5. Tax the services of Pam's Purple Door in Deadwood 6. Ask Bernie Hunhoff what he would do 7. Rent out the spare bedrooms in the Govenor's Residence 8. Call up that Onanassis kid and ask "Can you spare a few million?" 9. Make the IBP building into a luxury Condo 10. Turn South Dakota over to the Indians, let them worry about it
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