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Holabird Advocate

Providing all the news we see fit to print since 2002!

Saturday, September 07, 2002
VOL. I Issue 9D
3pm is usually "Boost time" for Holabird Centurian E.E. Hinkle, but Friday afternoon his son Harold gave him a choice of either his usual can of "Boost" or a banana split. Willing to take chances he opted for the banana split. Later he asked if it had all the vitamins and minerals that his "Boost" has his grandson, Jerry Hinkle, laughed out loud and said no. Harold is worried about the expense of "Boost" and is trying to get E.E. out of the "Boost" habit. It should be noted that the "Boost" that E.E. drinks is really generic Ensure sold by K-Mart.
Temps in Holabird and the Holabird area, while close to 100 and not actually crosses that border yet. The Weathermen have all said the mercury will get down around Tuesday. It has been in the 90s for 3 days in as row. E.E. Hinkle's propane tank is still filled with heating oil for the wintertime but has curiously stopped singing like before. It appears that Harold and Darrel were right and Jerry was wrong as the white paint seemed to stop it. Jerry Hinkle being wrong is not neccessarily front page news but the fact that he admitted it is definately front page news.
by Jerry Hinkle, Special to the
Holabird Advocate
Well, the Food Police have succeeded getting McDonald's Resturaunts to cut the fat in their french fries. I heard the news just this past week. It may interest you the Reader to know that The price of the stock in McD's has gone down every day since this announcement was made. The reason why, of course, is that America loves greesy fries. Wall Steet knows that almost as much as you and I do. Still, the Food Police, as I call them, persist that this is not enough. It seems that the fries are still to fat for this ilk. They could boycott McD's, but they have been doing that. It hasn't worked, so they found a 298 lbs. man to sue them. This idiot claims that he is addicted to fat food. That has the fast food companies scared. Remember the "Hot Coffee" suits?
McDonalds has tried it's dead level best to appease the so called "Consumer Watchdog" groups. Anybody remember the McLean Hamburger? Do you know why they are not on the menu anymore? Nobody wanted them, that's why. They had Salad Shakers or some such thing to. I can't rember if they still do or not. Here's your chance to get your name in the Holabird Advocate. Go to Mcdonald's and look at the menu. Report your findings to me and I'll put your name in the Newsblog. No purchase Neccessary, void where prohibited, prohibited where void. As for me, I'm still boycotting Mcd's over this Aussie meat purchase deal. Hey! I gotta draw the line somewhere.

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